Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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