you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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