Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
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the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
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The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Enjoy the penises
You ruined the universe
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize