I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
