YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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