I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
