My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
