Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize