I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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