his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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