yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
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You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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