You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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