I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
