You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.