This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.