what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm experimenting with sincerity