I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.