I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!