Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.