6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
