I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
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Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box