Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.

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  (770): I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter. http://tfl.nu/9rwz
  Replies (20) Good night (3653) Bad night (722)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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  (613): the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek http://tfl.nu/bytn
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (3607)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.

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  (816): He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine. http://tfl.nu/bj2r
  Replies (103) Good night (742) Bad night (8959)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid

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  (478): tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid http://tfl.nu/h4uf
  Replies (9) Good night (3548) Bad night (588)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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  (859): Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day. http://tfl.nu/d01x
  Replies (16) Good night (6074) Bad night (1055)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

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  (847): We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate. http://tfl.nu/z0ff
  Replies (10) Good night (8900) Bad night (1054)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

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  (845): Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success http://tfl.nu/8g5x
  Replies (12) Good night (4277) Bad night (847)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know

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  (936): He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know http://tfl.nu/tf12
  Replies (15) Good night (7312) Bad night (1286)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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  (804): The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be." http://tfl.nu/zz4e
  Replies (7) Good night (783) Bad night (3113)
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  (661): View more from California

  Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.

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  (661): Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me. http://tfl.nu/1wv6
  Replies (17) Good night (6633) Bad night (1158)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.

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  (317): that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead. http://tfl.nu/rwpy
  Replies (5) Good night (958) Bad night (1954)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.

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  (360): I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show. http://tfl.nu/dv9s
  Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (840)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.

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  (412): Dude, it's not gay. It's winter. http://tfl.nu/4ls1
  Replies (11) Good night (989) Bad night (443)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.

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  (708): Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway. http://tfl.nu/5xxq
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (318)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.

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  (504): So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius. http://tfl.nu/mef6
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (380)

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