Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?

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  (917): You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower? http://tfl.nu/keh5
  Replies (1) Good night (1210) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Someone's got a whale tail

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  A thong is hangin out?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  No, a fatty following them

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  (314): Someone's got a whale tail (1-314): A thong is hangin out? (314): No, a fatty following them http://tfl.nu/cyed
  Replies (8) Good night (983) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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  (773): i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about http://tfl.nu/411c
  Replies (24) Good night (1009) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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  (440): you were so drunk you slurred your pauses http://tfl.nu/u543
  Replies (6) Good night (4307) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.

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  (916): I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum. http://tfl.nu/f301
  Replies (24) Good night (6300) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public

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  (804): This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public http://tfl.nu/6cpw
  Replies (15) Good night (768) Bad night (3628)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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  (330): i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love http://tfl.nu/ix9b
  Replies (26) Good night (6371) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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  (919): I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever http://tfl.nu/iy56
  Replies (51) Good night (10983) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.

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  (804): At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution. http://tfl.nu/lsuu
  Replies (12) Good night (3415) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.

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  (206): Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional. http://tfl.nu/t1vf
  Replies (9) Good night (2592) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  This hangover makes more sense now

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  (817): Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"... (1-817): This hangover makes more sense now http://tfl.nu/3zvy
  Replies (11) Good night (2386) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.

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  (773): Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check. http://tfl.nu/xi8q
  Replies (9) Good night (1757) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (470): View more from Georgia

  My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.

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  (470): My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time. http://tfl.nu/utoz
  Replies (6) Good night (1502) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.

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  (902): You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me. http://tfl.nu/23cm
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.

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  (905): yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child. http://tfl.nu/c0t1
  Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (247)

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