I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
