she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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