The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
