i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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