I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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