17 year olds will be the death of me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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