we're blogging at a bar
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I would ride that face into the sunset
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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