I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you made out with another girl for some wings
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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