before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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