Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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