I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
