had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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