you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
