somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
