Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize