he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
