end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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