remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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