he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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