i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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