i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
