You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
