THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
