maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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