This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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