ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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