Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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