Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
