that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
