You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
