Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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