Your dad touched me again.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
