I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
