Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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