new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize