careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
