sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
