love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
