it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize