how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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