Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Its about making memories worth repressing
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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